Leggy – I’d never heard of this book before you asked for us to read this together. Also, I thought it was a nonfiction book about the author’s parents’ marriage, and I went into it without knowing anything about it.
Taynement – Yeah, I saw it on Instagram from a follower, and it looked interesting. I love me an African family drama plot. I found it quite interesting, not necessarily because of the writing but more from the human psychology aspect.
Leggy – I ended up finding it deeply fascinating. Also, this book is compulsively readable.
Taynement – Yes! I found it to be such an easy read.
Leggy – I started it yesterday and finished it in 24 hours. It’s hard to put down.
Taynement – The author kept it simple and didn’t overwrite it which I think you would expect because of the complexity of the subject matter. To break it down – the book centers around Mawuli Nuga and how his sexual indiscipline affected his many families, but the story is told through one of his children – Kokui and how her quest to beat the cycle of her father’s actions landed her into a different kind of cycle.
Leggy – Yes, she kept it simple and actually showed you the story, the family and the men without having to spell it out to the readers. She didn’t hit you over the head with any agenda.
Taynement – The book does start with a family tree which means nothing to you before you read the book but makes all the sense when you’re in it.
Leggy – Yeah, I skipped that family tree. It’s just like fantasy books that start with a map. I never study those. I think that if you do your job well, then I’ll know what is in the family tree or in the map after I’ve read your book.
Taynement – Like I always say when we do this, I always wonder how non-Africans ingest a book like this because it makes sense to us, but it must seem so strange and bizarre to them. Mawuli kept making babies and swapping wives like underwear with nary a thought of how they felt. We see the different ways the wives/mothers handled it with Kokui’s mother choosing to go back to her home country but choosing to still stay a legal wife for her children.
Leggy – And then accepting him as a husband once a year when he comes down with the kids for Christmas.
Taynement – While the current wife chose to ignore his indiscretions with the hope of getting his assets upon his death. Thing is, it’s so common for Africans to find out they have outside siblings that I can see how Mawuli didn’t bat an eyelid.
Leggy – Nothing about their dad even fazed me.
Taynement – Children are a sign of success.
Leggy – And he accepted and trained every single child, even the older Antony guy who he disowned. He still paid his way to London and paid his fees till he dropped out.
Taynement – The main fascination of this book was Kokui. Before we get into her, I did wonder why the author chose to make her sister a side character and not do a side by side.
Leggy – I’m glad we just focused on one person. I think a side by side might have made the book more bloated, but I also think she just wanted us to follow one person and see if the person can break the cycle.
Taynement – That’s fair. It was just a floating thought.
Leggy – It’s so easy to run your mouth about all the ways your parents are doing life wrong until you’re having to make those same choices.
Taynement – Kokui was so determined to not be her mum and thought her mum was basically an idiot which I understand, but what I didn’t understand was the swiftness in which she wanted to marry her husband. It was so immature and… idiotic?
Leggy – I actually didn’t think her mum was an idiot. I understand why her mum stayed. Her mum thought her staying would secure her children’s inheritance. Their mother told them that their dad promised her that one of the two of her girls would be appointed to run his company. She felt like she had made a shitty choice in marrying him and was trying to salvage it as best as she could. But yes, I found Kokui to be such a dumb and stupid character. I also went from not liking Boris to being as irritated as him about Kokui’s decisions and naivete.
Taynement – I think she was immature and tunnel visioned. You have to remember that she was privileged. A privileged kid who didn’t seem to realize how privileged she was. She thought her father’s indiscretions gave her a ticket to say she had a hard life. Which part annoyed you the most?
Leggy – The way she kept saying she wanted a job that would give her a spark. Like girl, you are working in New York illegally. Where would you get that job?
Taynement – Lol. Again, naive. What did you think of Boris in the NYC days?
Leggy – I understood him completely. He was being realistic about their lives. They needed to save. Also, he made the right decision not to rent an apartment for those first 6 months before they left for school but to stay on Sammy’s couch. That’s how they saved so much money. Also, Kokui staying and helping out with babysitting was always the logical thing to do.
Taynement – So even before they left for New York, I think there was an underbelly to Boris. He wanted the benefits of her dad but was uncomfortable with it.
Leggy – I felt that from the second they met. That’s why I was so annoyed by her being so fascinated with him. You could tell there was an anger at her for having an easier life. Also, her desperation to marry him and to have a better marriage than her parents was insane. I would think the more logical thing would be not to marry at all. Why did she not dread getting married? Why did she run so fast towards it?
Taynement – Indoctrination. She thinks she’s so above it all but could not fathom rebelling against the norm by just not getting married. Another aspect I found fascinating is they both disagreed on a lot of things but were on the same page when it came to kids.
Leggy – That was such a relief that they were on the same page with kids and even birth control. Imagine bringing a kid into that and overcomplicating the relationship before you’ve had a chance to figure out how it’s all supposed to work. Also, at least Boris was hardworking and smart. Honestly, my fear was that he would become abusive. That’s also why I liked this book so much. It wasn’t cliche in the way I was expecting.
Taynement – Yes, exactly. His deference to Sammy annoyed me.
Leggy – I think he was just grateful to how much Sammy helped them those first 6 months in New York City. Do you think Kokui succeeded in having a marriage better than her parents?
Taynement – I think it was too soon to tell and another tick for the author for me. I like how she didn’t make Boris bad or good and truly showed the complexities of a relationship. I was fully with Kokui wanting to leave but then her seeing that he was ambitious and was there for her through the big thing that happened, it wasn’t so clear cut. I honestly didn’t consider her parents’ marriage a marriage. It was an arrangement. At least Kokui and Boris cared for each other.
Leggy – I think it was a marriage. Remember they were together for 12 long years before the big reveal which then led to the rift that we see in the book. I agree with you about Kokui and Boris’ marriage. I like that it wasn’t black and white, it was very complex. And nobody is ever going to give you that perfect marriage. There are things that should be deal breakers and then you should just try to live with the ones that are not.
Taynement – I actually think they can make it work. They need time, maturity and money.
Leggy – Yes, I think their marriage is going to be fine. It won’t be the fairytale marriage she envisioned but it will have the messiness of what a real life actually consists of.
Taynement – Were there aspects of the book you didn’t like?
Leggy – Honestly when I started this book, I was so annoyed by the characters but after finishing it, I just felt like there was no misplaced word. All the things I thought I did not like from the beginning became a piece to the puzzle that we could not do without. I didn’t think it was the best written book ever, but it told a very simple story in a compelling way.
Taynement – Yes, the bones of the story were good enough to get away with such simple writing. Would you recommend this to someone?
Leggy – Yes but honestly probably just to other Africans.
Taynement – Ha. If we do have any non-African readers, I’d love to know your thoughts on this book.
TwoNightStands 