“Unfortunately, even as we try to submerge our pain deep down inside, it finds a way to bubble up: Through addiction. Through anxiety. Through eating disorders. Through insomnia. Through all the different PTSD symptoms and self-destructive behaviors that assault survivors experience for years on end. These incidents may last minutes or hours, but their impact lasts a lifetime.”
My love for celebrity memoirs continue, this time with Demi Moore’s Inside Out. Moore is famously known for being an actress who at some point was the highest paid actress in Hollywood. She is also known for her high profile marriages to both Bruce Moore and Ashton Kutcher. These days, she is living a lower key life and the last thing I saw her in was as a guest actor on Empire (alongside her daughter). This is after a publicized entry into rehab and the news that her daughters were not speaking to her. We all know there are two sides to every story so I was curious to know what her take on everything was.
“Taking responsibility for your own reaction is the gateway to freedom”
To begin, Moore gave us all the ingredients that is required for a memoir. She came raw and was quite fair when saying all sides of the story. But I think what elevated her book was you could tell that despite her struggles and hard childhood due to terrible parents, she took responsibility for her actions. You could tell that she had learned a lot from everything she had been through and done some work on herself and for herself, including forgiveness and letting go – which in her case after you read her story, you will admit was a hard feat.
“What if everything hadn’t happened to me but had happened for me? What I learned is that how we hold our experiences is everything.”
I have mentioned before that I usually do not like the childhood stories in memoirs but I didn’t mind it here. I think it’s because honestly, her parents were horrible. Particularly, her mom. I don’t want to give any spoilers but there is a chapter that details a horrific thing her mother did and it reminded me that it’s unfortunate that anyone can be a parent. Moore started early in acting and it was probably a dangerous combination, having all that dysfunction coupled with fame. She talks about her issues with her body and never feeling good enough. Throughout the book it seemed like she traded one addiction for another.
“I have since come to understand that there is no such thing as someone “loving you enough” to be better. People can only be as good as they are, no matter how much they love you.”
I hate to admit that when a celebrity has a high profile romance, that is usually what I look forward to in their memoir. I like to know what the behind the scenes was like and what was true or not. Moore did not skimp out on this with us. From her first marriage to her first husband, Freddy Moore, at age 18 (she mentions how she cheated on him the night before their wedding). To her whirlwind romance with Bruce and how it degenerated into ships in passing, even though their third child was conceived even after Bruce had asked for a divorce. Though she mentioned a lot about their union, I still think she kept some things from us, probably as respect for him and the good relationship they have.
Her story with Ashton really sounded great in the beginning stages but in hindsight, I think she probably liked how he made her feel vs. the realities of who he was. Not a good combination when you consider the deep insecurity and trauma she’d carried around. She went against her morals and did things with Ashton she didn’t want to. Including a threesome and forgiving him for cheating. Her obsession to have a baby was also so heartbreaking.
“They divorce and years later the dad mellow as men tend to when they get older. You know the kind. They’re assholes when their young then they get sweet when they age. It’s the mother who seems bitter and unpleasant by comparison but, he’s the one who made her”
I liked how Demi wrapped up her story and how she managed to clear some stories up about her perception and that infamous nude pregnant picture (there is a whole backstory to that). I hope the internal peace she seems to have found is genuine because it took a lot to get there. She sure has seen some things in life. As always, I recommend this in audio (read by Demi herself), just as I recommend this book. A good story on overcoming struggles – both man made and life lottery given – and getting out the other side. I gave this 4 stars on Goodreads.