Category: Memoirs

I’m having a rough book year y’all. But it seems that while it is hard to get myself to focus and get into most books, it is much easier to dive into a celeb memoir. So here we are, with yet another memoir.

I am not the biggest Mariah Carey fan. I appreciate her talent and her contribution to the music industry but personality wise, based on the persona she chooses to share with the world, she’s not exactly my favorite. That was not going to stop me from picking this one up. She is iconic status and I thought it would be great to hear her perspective on her life and straight from the source vs. what we have heard over the years through the tabloids.

Mariah starts from the very beginning being born to an Irish mother and a Black father. She details the hardship, the tension between her and her siblings with resentment sprinkled in because she looked white and they thought she was passing and the age gap not helping. The tension between her father and brother to the point of violent scuffles. She also talks about not really fitting in and falling in love with music.

We hear the story of how she was discovered, marrying Tommy Mottola and being in a controlling marriage with him, her various love affairs (Derek Jeter, Luis Miguel, Nick Cannon). She talks extensively about her career. How the magic was created for each album, the people she worked with and the challenges she faced.

I came into this book with the only things I knew about Mariah being the things we’d heard through the media. I have mentioned before how I don’t care for the childhood stories in memoirs but oddly enough, I did not mind Mariah’s. Being honest, I found out probably later than most that Mariah Carey was biracial. For the longest time, I thought her father was biracial, so I found it interesting to read about her upbringing.

I liked this book because I learned so many new things that I did not know before. For one, as mentioned earlier, I did not know Mariah identified as a black woman. I don’t think I knew she was from New York and listening to her audio book narration, I wondered how I’d ever missed her NY accent. I also learned about her strong adoration for Marilyn Monroe who is her she-ro (I mean duh, her child’s name)

Mariah must have one hell of a vivid memory because every story told, even in childhood, was very hella detailed. This could have been the work of her co-writer, Michaela Angela Davis (look her up. I’m sure you have seen her before) but Mariah had to have presented the material for it to be written, so I don’t even think I can say it is because of her.

The biggest flaw this book had was the flaw of omission. You could just tell a lot of things were missing. I moved on to a chapter and all of a sudden she tells us she is singing for demos and I would have loved to know how she got that foot in the door. While she tells us a lot about how marriage to Tommy Mottola was, I still couldn’t tell if he was ever physically abusive because she never explicitly said so and I wondered how a man that controlling only stopped there. She did not touch on her public relationship with James Packer, her time on American Idol or deciding to do a reality show. I know she has said in interviews that only the important things made it in the book but like I always say, don’t write a memoir if you are not ready to lay it bare.

In every story she tells, she comes off as the person done wrong in every situation/story that she tells. That is to say, there wasn’t a strong sense of accountability in certain relationships. I chuckled because Mariah is the only person who would refer to their siblings as ex-sister and ex-brother. There was not a lot said about Nick Cannon, in fact it was almost like she breezed through it. I didn’t get the sense she was in love with him, as she put it he indulged her perpetual 12 year old and he was probably what she needed at that stage of her life.

She speaks a lot about bullying and racism from white people but I find it hard to beleive that she never experienced a hard time from black people for looking white but identifying as black but she never mentions that and it just felt like yet another omission.

Overall, it doesn’t meet my usual criteria for a good memoir because this was a curated memoir but I still enjoyed it. As always I recommend doing this in audio. She is a fantastic narrator and is pretty good at doing voices. I know some people found her breaking into song periodically in the audio book annoying, but I quite liked it.

There are loads of stories and behind the scenes and actual demo tracks (like ODB’s verse for the Sweet Fantasy remix). There is also shade on J.Lo (we find out the reason for Mariah’s issue for her) and Celine Dion (of all people!) but its a fun ride. I saw different sides to her, like her strong faith in God and her resilience. I gave this book 3 stars and I would recommend it.

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“Recovering alcoholics talk about needing to hit rock bottom before they are able to climb out. The paradox for the workaholic is that rock bottom is the top of whatever profession they’re in.”

David Chang is well known in the culinary world through so many arenas. He has a number of restaurants, books, cook books, podcasts and has featured on a number of cooking TV shows including his Netflix show, Ugly Delicious. He has a reputation for having a DGAF attitude and has amassed a lot of success in his career. And yet it is possible that you may never have heard of him. There is nothing I love more than a good ol’ celebrity memoir and if it involves the culinary world, that is even better (Exhibit A and B – Padma Lakshmi’s to be specific) So, I was eager and curious to read Chang’s memoir.

I had prior knowledge of who he was and a little insight to his carefree personality. I have even visited one of his restaurants, Momofuku (which I found overrated), so I wasn’t going in completely blind. Chang delivered the basics. I think he was open and honest and really gave insight to his rise as a chef. Chang also was open about his bipolar diagnosis and being heavily prone to outbursts of rage, even among people he loves.

I added this book to my TBR list when I read an article and excerpt of his book that focused heavily on his outbursts and diagnosis – which I did not know about. I think the book missed the mark for me because the excerpt I read, made me think this book would be focused on his personal life but it turned out to be more of a “How to” book that focused more on his career. I take responsibility that this could be my fault for having different expectations but an example is that the excerpt had my curiosity piqued because I honestly was curious on how he navigated his anger issues within his marriage and how his wife handled it. He barely mentioned his wife in the book but we got loads of examples of how it played out in his various kitchens.

Like I mentioned earlier, Chang was very honest about his life especially the ugly (which there is a lot of) He spoke about being a child of Korean immigrants and how it influenced his desire for success. But his honesty was not something that exactly sat well with me. He talked about behaviors he was not proud of, but for me being honest about awful things doesn’t necessarily excuse the fact that it happened. I didn’t exactly think he went super deep on certain topics. It almost read like he was telling us just enough to be defined as a memoir but you can tell things are missing. He tells us on more than one occasion that he did not create the best working environment for his employees, who were sometimes scared of him but in another says how his greatest talent is bringing out the best in people so that dissonance was hard for me to comprehend.

Something else I struggled with is the fact that Chang’s account of himself made him unlikable. I have mentioned before how this affects my enjoyment of a book, when a protagonist is unlikable, and it was no different here. Once I realized that I was only going to get his version of a memoir, my interest waned. His career trajectory was impressive but I don’t think it was told in a compelling way, I was just ready to be done with the book.

Something Chang does well is actually go deep about the reasons for his restaurant choices, his love of food and the history of food. Fun Fact: Momofuku means “Lucky Peach”. He does give the appropriate kudos where credit belongs for example to black women and Taiwanese women when he started a fried chicken place. A tiny segment of the book that for some reason struck a chord with me was Chang giving his former intern, Madge a chance and making her Momofuku’s CEO at age 30. That is a huge risk that I applauded him for.

I think if the book was presented as a career “How To..” it would have leveled my expectations and been a better representation of what kind of memoir it was. Not to discount his hard work, but it’s hard to take advice from someone who flew a lot by the seat of his pants and even by his own admission was lucky from the very beginning starting with how his dad gave him 100k as seed money. He does have an appendix chapter titled “33 Rules To Being A Chef” that could be applied to any career path that I think aptly fits what I think would have been a better direction for the book.

Per usual for a memoir, I audio’d it and gave it 2 stars for all the reasons mentioned above but that is not to say this book won’t work for a lot of people. For people who may not know anything about Chang, who may be more interested in knowing more about culinary success or who don’t need their protagonist to be likable, this book might actually be a good read for them.

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When I heard Jessica Simpson was coming out with a memoir, I rolled my eyes and was like “yet another celeb with a memoir, what do we possibly want to know about her?” Then snippets started to dribble in the media about her sexual abuse and how it led to sleeping aids, then her alcohol addiction. I read a snippet of her book combined with my love for memoirs and reality shows (I watched Newlyweds when it was on), I promptly put myself on my library wait list.

“Sometimes we are all so afraid to be honest with ourselves because we know that honesty will lead to somewhere.” I wrote this ten years ago. “Can fear walk us to something better?”

Let’s just say that Open Book is the memoir I did not know I needed in my life. It was amazing. The back story is that 5 years ago, Jessica was approached to write some sort of motivational and inspirational book but she backed away from it because she didn’t want to lie and say everything was okay when it wasn’t.

She took a step back and went through her journals that she had been keeping and mined them for content to become the book we have today. Jessica came prepared for a memoir and bared her soul to us. She shared her fears, anxieties and learnings and I really enjoyed how she balanced them all. It was not just a tale of tragedies but she was sure to share what she learned from experiences in her life and drop a kind and encouraging word.

“Did he repeatedly stab me in the heart, or did I just keep running into the knife he aimed at me?”

Jessica is famously known for wanting to wait till marriage back in the day and her love life was something else she was open about. She shares with us how her marriage to Nick Lachey was doomed from start, her emotional cheating with **** (you’ll find out who when you read the book). Her most prominent relationship in the book was with John Mayer and whew, he was terrible, terrible to her (see quote above) I applaud her for being bold and stating all the things he did to mess with her mind and heart. It was heart warming to see how she ended up with her now husband who treated her like a queen in comparison.

I think she was respectful of her family and she didn’t say much to disparage them but my opinion is that her parents were quite toxic and given her need to please personality, it was not a good mix. It was a bit sad to see all the weight of insecurity she carried around from when she was young and I am sure playing third fiddle to Britney and Christina did not help.

Even though she did touch on it, I wish she spoke more about how she got her fashion industry to be a billion dollar company. The way it’s written it seems like it was an easy thing to accomplish but on the flip she does acknowledge that she is one of those blessed people who have things go her way. The other thing I wish she explained was given her stance on no sex before marriage and her still current faith, I wonder why it didn’t apply after her divorce. In her book, she tells us how she went on a dating/sexual spree and I wondered why she didn’t stay celibate per her beliefs or what changed.

As mentioned before, I really liked this book and gave it 5 stars. Normally, I would audio a memoir but if you have ever heard Jessica Simpson talk, I wasn’t going to risk it (especially after suffering through Busy Phillips) BUT I shouldn’t be so harsh as the early pages of the book she mentions a car accident she was in that had her thrown through the windshield and affected her brain somehow and me thinks it is why her speech is slurred sometimes. Also, I heard the audio came with 6 new songs done to accompany the book so you can make your choice.

I can’t tell you how many times I stopped to google something mentioned and look for the picture or what the headlines said. I even went to look for old Newlywed episodes. I was also reminded that we are not kind to celebrities. Do yourself a favor and read this one.

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I first knew about Onwuachi when he was a contestant on Top Chef. I was excited to see a Nigerian name on such a global scale, even though I was confused that his first name was not. Even though I was rooting for him, I was a bit disappointed that he didn’t seem to embrace his Nigerian side fully and even the judges told him he needed to find a point of view. I say this to say, my knowledge of him via the show made me form a not so keen  opinion of him especially now that he is the executive chef of the widely popular Kith/Kin which fully embraces Nigerian cuisine with a flair.

Onwuachi tells us about his life growing up in the Bronx to a Nigerian father and Louisiana mom. The marriage was not a good one and his parents split. Onwuachi suffered physical abuse from his dad (who overall just sounded like a horrible man). His love of cooking stemmed from his mother who was a caterer. He never told his mom about how his dad beat him up and instead acted out which led to his mom sending him to Nigeria to be with his grandfather. This was a short section but had a major impact on him. He connected with his grandfather who told him stories of his ancestors and he learned about Nigerian dishes.

By the time he made it back to America, he had forgotten all the lessons he had learned and started rolling with the wrong crowd. Onwuachi tells us how he got involved with gangs and dealing drugs. He didn’t last long in college and feeling lost on his mother’s couch he got a cooking job on a boat which started his rise in a career as a chef.

So I will admit, I pegged Onwuachi wrong. So wrong. I had a better understanding of why he was the way he was on Top Chef. While addressing the racism he has encountered in his career he mentions how a producer told him that America was not ready for a black chef who did fine dining.

I always say the best ingredient for a memoir is being open. I originally wanted to say that Onwuachi was open because he was about his life although he mentioned nothing about his personal life until the end when there was a random mention of a fiancee. He had no qualms mentioning names including a racist chef in a Michelin star restaurant. He was very detailed about the rise and fall of his restaurant Shaw Bijou within months. I feel like I got a good sense of who he was and who he is. I thoroughly enjoyed the flow and how it was written.

I was disappointed that the book didn’t extend to how Kith & Kin was borne. Another thing that irked me was that every chapter included a recipe and during the Nigeria section he kept calling Egusi soup, Egusi stew and I cringed every time I heard it.

Overall, I really liked this one. Onwuachi’s unwavering belief in himself was palpable and motivational. He is not humble about it and is very confident in his abilities and what he can do, which is a much needed quality for a black man in America, regardless of your field. It was a quick read that you would easily find yourself immersed in.

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Darkness to Light is a memoir by Lamar Odom who is known either as a basketball player or better known as Khloe Kardashian’s ex-husband. Much of Lamar’s life has been played out in the media for better or worse but I think the difference with the memoir is that we get to hear from Lamar’s point of view.

Using a ghostwriter (who was not very good), Lamar tells us about his life which is riddled with issues from the start with his parents. Lamar had a hard life. His parents got together young but it did not last long and his father left and became an addict. He loses his mother young and honestly, I think that was the catalyst to a lot of his problems because he never really dealt with it and he was filled with a lot of grief and confusion.

He discovers his talent for playing basketball and throws all his focus and emotions into basketball. He meets the mother of his children, Liza in high school and chronicles his journey into the NBA. His deep spiral into drugs and how he hid it – including the dodgy ways he bypassed drug tests. His constant cheating and sex addiction diagnosis. The many deaths of loved ones, he has to go through. Dating Taraji P Henson, meeting, marrying and being part of the Kardashian clan and his infamous overdose at the Bunny Ranch.

The good thing about this book is that Lamar is very open and vulnerable in this book and he shares things that he didn’t need to. Although, I always say the key to a good memoir is laying everything out on the line, if you aren’t then there really is no point. If I am being honest, a big propeller of reading this book was to get to the Kardashian bits and see if there was tea to be gathered.

I think Lamar was very respectful of everyone he mentioned in the book and while still being honest, was not disparaging. For example, he doesn’t hide his distaste for Mavs owner, Mark Cuban and says being a part of the Kardashians was one of the best times of his life as he felt like he belonged to a family unit, which is something that he had never really had.

Lamar used a ghostwriter for this book – Chris Palmer, and I have to say, he had to have been the cheapest one they could get because he was not a very good one. It was such basic writing, that the book read like a middle school essay. He particularly had issues with transitioning. I can’t tell you how many times he had a sentence that said “xyz did I know that this will be the day that would change my life forever”. In a particular instance where he describes the death of his best friend on Khloe & Lamar, Jamie (who we find out wasn’t really his best friend but the producers wanted him to have a white best friend and they did drugs together so he won the spot of best friend) it basically was reduced to one page and that was that.

On the flip side, I couldn’t help but think that Lamar seems quite detached from the world. While you sympathize with all he had to go through, I couldn’t ignore how he also did a lot of things that hurt people. I couldn’t understand why Liza stood by him and even had more kids with him even though he constantly cheated and ignored her (Lamar claims he has been with over 2000 women and has paid his fair share in abortions). His wily ways to beat a drug test, shows insight into a side of him that some may say just comes with being an addict.

Overall, I think I got what I wanted from the book. I’ve seen a lot of people comment that he was name dropping in the book and I find that ridiculous because he was a famous man moving in famous circles, it is expected. You get a better picture of how Lamar ended up as a drug addict and you feel some kind of sadness wondering where he would be if he had dealt with the depression from losing his mom or losing his child instead of turning to drugs.

It was a quick, easy read but don’t go in there expecting quality writing but instead expect to ponder life and how the little or big things change the trajectories of our lives.

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